The Lady And The Fork
by TemptressOfTheSouthernIsles
Summary: Elsa's got issues that go beyond lesbianism. Forkanna's head over heels for somebody she can't have. Living Lamb's still trying to find herself. Celery Sticks just wants to find love. What could go wrong? Frozen AU featuring Frozen fanfic writers. Note: this does not represent the authors' personal thoughts, feelings, or lifestyles whatsoever. NOT A CRACK FIC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is going to be a multichapter epic that chronicles the lives of Frozen fanfic writers in the modern universe of Frozen.

Forkanna - wrote the cake fic.

Living Lamb - wrote "You Are".

Celery Sticks - wrote A Snowflake in Spring

Kate-Kane - wrote R9kelsa is suffering.

More will be added.

* * *

Forkanna took a swig of orange juice. She was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a piece of toast. It was early morning. Birds outside were chirping aloud. She was skimming the newspaper, and as she did so, she smiled from ear to ear.

"What are you so excited about?" Living Lamb, her roommate, asked. She twirled into the kitchen and took a piece of toast, taking a bite out of its edge.

Forkanna grinned. "Duh, Lamb! It's coronation day!"

"Did somebody say coronation day?" a brunette head appeared behind the doorway. She was sprightly and beautiful, but a bit ditsy.

"Hey Celery Sticks," Lamb nodded. "_Wait_ - how'd you get the keys to our apartment?"

"I don't need keys," Celery said, waving her hand. "I just open doors. So, I'm guessing you're excited for Elsa's coronation, right, Forkanna?"

"Wait," Lamb said. She blinked, confused. "Who's Elsa? What's a coronation?"

Forkanna stood to her feet. She moved her way to the fridge, and then got a piece of cake out of the fridge to eat for lunch later. "I'm disappointed in you, Lamb. As you should already know, Elsa is the daughter of Arendelle University's head master principle guy. But he got killed, so she's going to be the new head master principle guy."

"Oh damn that sucks," said Living Lamb.

"Yeah, but she's hot, so it's pretty cool," Celery Sticks observed.

"Let's go! I'll drive," Forkanna intervened. She stuck a fork in her back pocket.

* * *

The trio of girls squished together in a small compact Sudan.

"Maybe we should invite Caramelcat!" Celery Sticks suggested. But this suggestion was met with sad glances.

"She's dealing with personal things," Living Lamb said, pouting her lips. She missed her friend dearly, and missed the stories she would tell around the fire.

The car speeded down the highway at thunderous speeds. Then they ended up at the University of Arendelle.

"Oh god I'm excited," Living Lamb squealed. She gazed curiously at all the random strangers walking about.

"Look at that hottie," Celery Sticks gushed. She pointed a finger at a curvy, beautiful girl with a name-tag that said "Kate-Kane". "You guys think she bats for the other team?"

"Let's hope so," Forkanna said, squiggling her eyebrows.

A voice over the intercom interrupted their banter: "Hello, this is Walt Disney. Elsa Helland's coronation will begin in twenty minutes in the Pike Auditorium. All University students may attend."

Forkanna crossed her legs. She felt the sudden urge to make a whiz. "Um, guys, save me a seat. I've got to use the restroom!"

The other girls nodded, then made their way to the auditorium.

Forkanna ran past the food courts. As she ran, she accidentally collided with somebody else. She fell straight into a water fountain.

"Hey!" she yelled, offended. She stood from the water and stared at her wet clothes. "Look what you've done!"

She turned to face the person she bumped into. As she did, her mouth dropped, and her eyes widened.

"I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?" the person said. She was a platinum-blonde beauty, and her turquoise eyes were widened as well. "Here, let me give you a hand." She reached a green-gloved hand forward.

Forkanna, eyes dropping to her chin, took the hand graciously and was led out of the fountain.

"S-s-sorry? Don't be sorry," Fork gushed, cheeks burning red. She was immediately infatuated by the frightened girl who's hand was still in her's.

"Oh," the person said, reluctantly letting her hand go. "I'm really sorry, but I'm late enough as it is. I've got to run." She gestured her thumbs toward the auditorium room in the background.

"No worries! Go ahead," Fork said. She was disappointed, not wanting to leave the gorgeous girl's presence.

The girl started walking away, seeming frantic, but as she did so, she said, "Meet me here after the coronation! I'll formally apologize then! What's your name?"

"Oh - um," Forkanna bit her lip nervously. _Why the hell did my ghetto parents have to name me Forkanna? _"It's, um, Jessica."

"Oh, okay, _Jessica_. I'll meet you here in an hour," she smiled brightly, and then picked her dress up, running to the auditorium.

_I didn't get her name!_ Forkanna frowned as she trudged to the auditorium.

* * *

"Psst," Forkanna whispered, taking a seat by her friends. "Guys, I just met the love of my life!"

"Shh," Living Lamb whispered. "It's about to start."

"Oh, Forkanna, I need you to meet my new friend," Celery Sticks leaned across Lamb, "This is Kate-Kane."

Kate-Kane bended around Celery Sticks. She grinned happily. "Hey, it's fucking nice to meet you!"

"Oh, wow," Forkanna replied. "Nice to meet you, too."

Celery Sticks winked, then went back toward Kate-Kane.

The coronation began. It started with a choir singing songs in foreign languages, then professors gave speeches about the university's prestige. A bunch of sobbing old men were all sad about Elsa's dad, bla bla bla.

"Oh, here she comes!" Living Lamb whispered.

Forkanna had to bend over a fatass to get a good look at the queen.

"That's her," Forkanna whispered to herself, astonished. "Elsa was the one who bumped into me. She made me wet!"

"Ew, oh my god, keep those things to yourself," Living Lamb whispered, looking disgusted.

"No, you don't understand," Forkanna sneered. "She wants to meet me later!"

"I doubt it," Living Lamb whispered back, shaking her head. "She's the most sought-after lesbian in the whole university. No offense, but you stand absolutely no chance. I mean, look at her!"

Elsa stood on the stage, her dress from the movie gleaming on the stage lights. Although Forkanna was sitting in the last auditorium seat, probably a football field away, she could have swore Elsa stared at her for at least three seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Yo cray-cray asswipes shut up about the "drinking toast" typo. You know what I meant. God I can't do shit without getting ice poured down my shirt. If you point my flaws out once more then shit will hit the cieling fan. Good night. Let me finish this piece of art in peace, kapeesh? Btw if you is a fanfic author and you'd like to be featured in this, shoot me a private message.

**Edit**: Thanks ma'am (the real Forkanna), I fixed the discrepancies. And yes, Adele Dazeem is OC.

* * *

The coronation ended, and a fat guy started blowing on a tuba. "Bloop blop bloop blop bloop," it rang throughout the dance hall. There was a dance now to celebrate the coronation.

"So um," Celery Sticks batted her eyelashes at Kate-Kane, looking bashful as ever. "We're gonna' dance, little lady."

Kate-Kane smiled, and then she was taken out onto the dance floor by Celery Sticks. The pair of girls danced like in a whimsical fashion, and they were wearing dresses that fluttered in the wind as they danced. Kate-Kane was wearing a blue-ish suit, like what Beast wore on Beauty and the Beast, and Celery Sticks was wearing an original huge monster yellow dress. They were dancing with hands on each other shoulder's, staring into each other's eyes.

"Wow they're in love," Living Lamb said as she watched from the sidelines. She was sipping on a cup of red punch spiked with vodka. "Hey, where did Forkanna go?"

* * *

Forkanna was not in the dancing hall. She was waiting patiently at the fountain where Elsa had bumped into her.

"Maybe she's not coming," Forkanna whispered, glancing down at the time on her phone. It was getting late. "Maybe she's just trolling me."

"Who would do that?" Elsa's chilly voice sounded behind Forkanna's shoulder. Forkanna, gasping, whipped around, nearly dropping her phone.

"Oh, wow! You were beautiful in the coronation! I mean, you're beautiful now, too," Forkanna gushed. Her cheeks got filled up with blood orange color.

"Thank you," Elsa said, a genuine smile forming on her visage. Her eyes crinkled at the corners like the way cats sometimes do on cartoons. "So, I'm Elsa. I wanted to formally apologize for bumping into you. It was such a foolish mistake!"

"No worries," Anna grinned. She gestured down to her green dress, which was a bit damp, but pretty much dry. "It's drying up now. Haha."

"I should make it up to you," Elsa said, putting a finger under her chin. "In fact, I have the perfect idea in mind. Come with me!" She grabbed Forkanna's hand before the Fork girl even had a chance to react. In the next instance, they were running to the ball room, where all the celebration was going on.

"What shall we do?" Forkanna questioned as she was pulled into the ballroom.

They reached the very middle of the room. Elsa did a cursty, eyes smiling, and then reached out a slim, gloved hand. She said, "May I have this dance, Jessica?"

Forkanna blushed and let her hand be taken. The two began to slow dance in the dance room where they were at.

As they danced, their eyes never left each other's. Elsa's turquoise water-blue cobalt eyes were trained on Forkanna's eyes, and Forkanna's wirxjwr eyes were fixed on Elsa's. They were totally wrapped up in the dance, they didn't notice anybody's stares.

"Wow," Living Lamb whispered in shock as her cup of punch dropped to the floor and made a sceneful splash. "Fork wasn't kidding! She's really got Elsa hooked!"

"I can't believe this," Celery Sticks observed. She was breathing heavy, leaning against the wall and worn out from all the dirty dancing she had done with Kate-Kane.

"Holy mother fucking shitcakes," Kate-Kane observed, even though she had only known Forkanna for like not even an hour.

It was a beautiful evening, indeed.

* * *

As Forkanna and Elsa continued to dance, the clock struck midnight.

"Oh no," Forkanna said. Her eyes widened, and she looked back towards the door. "I'm so sorry Elsa, but I have to go!"

"Why?" Elsa asked, not letting her go, but tilting her head in curiosity.

If Forkanna was not back to her apartment by half past midnight, her parents would find out and refuse to pay for her university tuition. She had to get back **or else.**

"I - I just have to go," Forkanna said. She picked up her green dress and began speed walking to the door, looking back at Elsa. "I had such a good time!"

"Wait, Jessica!" Elsa started to run after her. "When will I see you again?"

Forkanna literally had zero time. As she ran, the fork made out of glass in the back of her dress fell on the floor, but she gave zero shits by this point. She was out the door with Living Lamb and Celery Sticks close behind her.

* * *

"That was a close one," Living Lamb breathed, her breath stained with alcohol as she fell onto the living room couch. A quick glance at the clock showed it was three minutes to 12:30.

"Tell me about it," Forkanna nodded. She plopped herself on the floor, exhausted. She pulled her shoes off and rubbed her sore feet.

Celery Sticks narrowed her eyes. "Fork, where's your glass fork that you took to the dance?"

Forkanna sighed, burying her face in her hands. "FUCK! It must have dropped out of my pocket when we left in a hurry!"

"You think that's bad?" Celery Sticks whined. "Try accidentally leaving the girl of your dreams without giving her your number! I might never see Kate-Kane ever again!"

"Same," Forkanna nodded. "Elsa thinks my name is Jessica. And she has no clue what my major is or any of my classes."

"Love sucks."

"Amen to the that," the three girls said in unison.

* * *

Meanwhile, as the party-goers cleared out of the ballroom, Elsa stood in the parking lot, letting the summer breeze wash over her skin.

"What is it?" her friend, , Adele Dazeem, asked.

Elsa held the glass fork in her hand, staring into the distance.

"I have to find Jessica."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hallo. I'm throwing new stones into the pot. Everybody's familiar with A Date With the Drum Major, correct? Hehe. Sehr güt. _P.S_, sorry but this chapter sucks. And u̶n̶fortunately, I'll have to notch the rating up to M.

Author addition: Arendelle's Drum Major - wrote A Date With the Drum Major.

* * *

Forkanna woke up. She had fallen asleep on the couch. She blinked her eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall: eight o'clock in the morning. Time to go to school.

"God dammit," she muttered, looking around the living room. "Fucking plebs. I have the hugest headache."

"You'll be fine," Living Lamb replied. Her voice came from the kitchen, and from what Forkanna could see, she was holding a cold bag of peas against her forehead. "After all, _you_ didn't drink the spiked punch."

Forkanna shrugged. She somersaulted into the kitchen and opened the fridge, blinking into the blinding light that came out of its structure; she selected for herself a piece of chocolate cake that was lying seductively on a slim, paper plate.

Celery Sticks appeared in the doorway. "You must really like cake for breakfast, eh?"

"Put a sock in it," Forkanna sneered. She was grumpy, remembering how she'd lost her glass fork which had cost her a shit ton of money. "Why are you always popping up in our apartment during breakfast, anyway?"

"Because that's the kind of person I am," Celery Sticks replied. Her fingernails were covered in mayonnaise. A book bag slung from her shoulder. "So, are we going to school or what?"

Forkanna ate the cake with her fingers and then licked her lips. "Let's hit the road, jack-wagons."

* * *

The three friends were now sitting at their favorite desks in an old-fashioned lecture hall, which was the size of a small classroom. A chalkboard hung on the wall at the front of the room; dozens of long, super complicated linear equations were drawn on it.

"Welcome to English class," the professor said, entering the room. She made her way to the podium at the front, high-heels clicking against the tiles of the floor. She basically looked just like Elsa, except she wasn't Elsa, and her hair was different. Plus her face was slightly not the same as Elsa's. She walked all sassy and sexy.

The buzzing classroom went from "Bla bla bla bla" like the adults on Charlie Brown to nothing but a quiet, mutual hush.

"Holy crap," Living Lamb whispered, eyes turning into visible fireworks.

"What's wrong, Lamb?" Forkanna asked. She lifted her head from her desk, which was still pounding from the headache, and turned her vision to the chalkboard, where the professor was writing her name in chalk. Her butt was kind of big, but not the Weenie Hut Junior kind of big; it was more beautiful than anything, so it was a stellar booty, and everybody was staring at it.

"I want her," Living Lamb said. She pointed a shaky finger at the professor. "Her I want."

"What's her name?" Celery Sticks whispered, leaning across her desk into the duo. She seemed to take a keen interest in the professor, and this caused Fork and Lamb to give her mean glances - mainly because Celery was always trying to steal their love interests, and when she used her celery-charm on a girl, she'd get what she wanted.

Celery Stick's question was answered when the professor moved away from the chalkboard, revealing the name "Drum Major" written in elegant chalk handwriting.

"Hello darlings," Drum Major smiled, nodding at each of the students. "I already recognize some of you from marching band. As you may know, I'm the head director of the music program here at the University, and I'm serving as this year's drum major because our current drum major has become the University's headmaster principle thing. You guys know Elsa, right? Anyway, I'm the fucking English teacher. We're here to learn the mechanics of English literature. Open your textbooks to page six hundred and sixty six."

Living Lamb raised her hand into the air. Sweat poured down her forehead, causing the room to become ankle-deep in her slushy lamb sweat.

"Okay, we're going to read this selection from Dante's Inferno. Would you- oh, wait," Drum Major glanced up from her podium and met eyes with Living Lamb from the back of the room. Her eyebrows raised ever so slightly, and her mouth twitched. "Yes?"

Lamb's breathing became rapid. With her hand in the air, she glanced around nervously at the eyes of her classmates who had each turned to stare at her because they're all pieces of shit like that.

"Uhhhh," Lamb muttered, saliva pouring down her throat, "I- um, I was wondering. Can I join the marching band?"

"Oh," Drum Major blinked. She cocked her head and pressed her lips together, thinking hard. "I suppose we still have some open positions on the field. Do you have any instrumental experience?"

"I'm a-a-afraid not," Living Lamb stuttered, her teeth chattering from the overbearing nerves in her system. She glanced down at her fingers on her desk, fumbling them together nervously.

Drum Major smiled at the corner of her mouth. "See me after class. I'll find a place for you."

* * *

Elsa was pacing the floor of her office, holding the sacred glass fork in her hands. A look of pain was plastered over her face.

"You need to chill," Adele Dazeem said, lounging naked on her desk. "I'm sure you'll find your mystery girl eventually."

Elsa shook her head, scrunching her face up. "You don't understand! I only know that her name is Jessica. But I looked up all the people with the name Jessica in the University's directory, and she didn't appear on anything. She must have a different name."

Adele squinted her eyes at the fork being showcased. "Holy shit! Is there _chocolate cake_ on that fork?"

"Huh?" Elsa brought the fork up to her face and examined it closely. An idea popped into her brain, an idea which would solve all her problems. "Yes! There's chocolate cake on this fork. You're a genius, Adele."

Adele brought her hands up in defense. "Hey, I could be wrong. That could be your mystery girl's literal poop for all you know. Wouldn't surprise me, knowing the kinky-ass fuckery that people from the internet do with their eating utensils these days. Smh."

Elsa ran the tip of her tongue along the chocolate cake. "Nope, that's definitely cake."

A goofy smile came over her mouth, and her eyes filled up with dreamy mist.

"Oh my god, Elsa!" Adele groaned, rolling her eyes. She flopped her boobs together to make a train noise. "Don't tell me you're actually falling for this crazy fork girl."

Elsa narrowed an eyebrow at her friend. "And what if I am?"

Adele jumped from the desk and ran forward, taking a hold of Elsa by the shoulders. "If the University finds out you're seeing a student, you'll get fired! You're not a senior anymore, remember? Plus, every girl wants you. You don't want to mess with this loser nobody from the wrong side of the tracks."

Elsa scowled, and then shook Adele's hands off her shoulders. She glanced at the glass fork in her hands. "I need to see the mystery girl again. I have a plan."

* * *

Celery Sticks plopped a box of pizza down at her friend's lunch table, where Forkanna was sitting alone, drinking an Oreo smoothie and rubbing her fingers along the table. Her wirxjwr eyes lit up upon seeing the pizza.

"Where's Living Lamb?" Celery Sticks asked. She grabbed a heaping slice with plenty of cheese and mushrooms, and then took a generous bite. Her eyes scanned across the busy cafeteria, collectively landing on a foxy girl named Megara.

"Lamb's talking to our professor about marching band, remember?" Forkanna said. She snapped her fingers. "_Hey_, quit staring at Megara. It's not going to happen."

"Actually, it already did," Celery Sticks smirked coyly, taking a sip of soda.

"Oh my god, Celery," Forkanna's jaw dropped in disbelief. It dropped pretty damn far. "You did _not_ bang Megara!"

"I did. Not to brag or anything, but she said it was the best she ever had. Better than Hercules and his meaty twenty-pound penis." Celery Sticks propped her feet up on the table, resting her hands behind her neck.

"For fuck's sake," a rice-crispy voice interrupted their banter.

Forkanna and Celery Sticks turned around to see Kate-Kane standing there, shaking in her shoes. She was holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and she was wearing a shirt that portrayed Belle running into the Tardis. Her eyebrows were furrowed angrily. She was shaking like she had seen a ghost. She was pretty angry.

"I thought you were different from the others," Kate-Kane said, looking straight at Celery Sticks. "But you're just a player."

She threw the flowers to the ground and turned on her feet, storming away in haste.

"No!" Celery Sticks called. She ran forward and scooped the flowers up. A single tear trickled down her cheek, prompting Forkanna to come by her side and pat her shoulder.

"Psh, I don't care," Celery Sticks scoffed. She stood to her feet and collected her things. "Honestly, she's nothing to me."

"Then why are you keeping the flowers?"

"Screw off, Fork. Now come on, let's go get Living Lamb."

Forkanna got her things and left her slice of cake on the table.

Little did she know, that five minutes later, Elsa was in the cafeteria, the glass fork clutched in her hand, scanning the tables for cake. She matched the fork up with at least a dozen slices that random strangers were carrying; but alas, none of them matched the distinct chocolate that was plastered over the glass prongs.

"What about that piece?" Adele asked, pointing to a stray piece of chocolate cake sitting at an empty table.

"Worth a try," Elsa said. Her voice was rather sulky, and she dragged herself to the cake, not expecting the results that proved a match.

"It matches," Elsa said. Disbelief layered her voice. "I'm standing where _she_ was standing."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Kinda pissed at the hate I've been getting on this story. You know what? This doesn't violate the guidelines. I mean, R9kElsa is Suffering violates FictionPress's guidelines but it's still on there! So lay off my chips. authors who are pissed that they're included in this will simply be booted off the story because I respect their wishes, and everything will be deleted eventually, anyway.

Author additions: Raze Occam - wrote Stockholm Syndrome

hmselsanna - wrote Anna Summers PA

Elsannaheadcanons, 50shadesofelsanna, Scholar of Justice, and Hellyeahpuckentine... (I don't know what the fuck they wrote)

* * *

Five hours later, and now everybody was getting aboard the university's big yellow bus for a field trip.

"Oh my gosh, a field trip! Yay!" screamed HellYeahPuckentine at the top of her lunges, foam dripping from his lips. She was lounging on the back seat of the bus, leaning against the window with a cigarette hangin' outta her mouth. Her hair was all puffed up like a poodle, and her lips were dripping with actual red paint from the department store because regular lipstick would not suffice for this foxy momma.

"Where are we going, Puckentine?" Forkanna asked. She had turned around in her seat to gaze at the girl.

"We're going to Lava Mountain," interrupted 50ShadesofElsanna before her gal pal, Puckentine, could answer politely. "It's a big fatass volcano by the North Mountain."

Forkanna sighed and sulked back into her seat. _Damn, I hate volcanoes, _she thought. The bus started going crazy with anger, because all the students would much rather spend their time at home on the computer then go out and see the world. But then, Professor Drum Major hopped on the bus, causing the engines to shudder from her sexiness. Living Lamb was close behind her.

"Students, students," Drum Major said, easing the bus into a calm, quiet shut-the-fuck-up. "You guys should be grateful that we're doing this. Lava Mountain is an amazing opportunity."

"Yeah, listen to the teacher," Living Lamb gushed behind the professor, putting a hand on Drum's shoulder. Drum Major turned to look at her curiously, wondering why Lamb was so different than the others. Lamb's face went into the color of dark, specific ketchup, the kind of ketchup that could really screw a person up, and she dodged her head shyly before slowly making her way to the back of the bus, taking a seat by her friend, Forkanna.

"You could be a little more subtle about your_ major_ crush on the Major," Forkanna whispered. Her mouth formed into a sly grin, and she playfully nudged Lamb.

It was the last thing she ever said to her beloved roommate.

At this moment, another person boarded the bus. The person was a _boy_. He had fire-crotch gingery hair, thin lips, and the most devilishly handsome sideburns in all of Arendelle. "Is it too late to find a good seat?" he asked Drum Major pleasantly. His voice was elated and charming, and his emerald eyes danced across the rows of seats. His name was Scholar of Justice, and his father was the leader of the University of the Southern Isles, which was Arendelle's biggest rival.

"No, go ahead and find a seat, Scholar," Drum Major said. She whipped around, eyes darting around before landing on ElsannaHeadCanons, who was sitting all alone, playing on her phone. "Sit with her."

"Fine with me," he shrugged, digging his hands into his white suit thing. He shuffled over to ElsannaHeadCanons and plopped himself down. "Hi, I'm Scholar," he grinned broadly, offering a white gloved hand to her; she merely glanced at him for a second, then went back to reading homosexual fanfiction on her phone.

"Is everybody ready for Lava Mountain?" the bus driver, Miss Frizzle, asked.

"NO WAY, FUCKING GAY," everybody screamed in unison.

"Fucking plebs. This is gonna' be a load of barnicles," Celery Sticks texted Forkanna. She made a goofy face at her friend, then glanced at the front of the bus, where Kate-Kane was sitting, chatting among with her friends. A pang of jealousy stabbed her heart, but she acted calm at ease.

Choo choo, chugga chugga boom. The bus turned into life and crashed through a bunch of buildings full of eldery innocents eating oatmeal patties before landing on the side of Lava Mountain, which was a real life volcano.

* * *

"Watch your step," the mountain's mysterious owner, Hagrid, said to each student as they got off the bus.

"Okay, class," Drum Major said to everybody as they huddled together on the edge. Looking off the mountain, you could see the entire city of Arendelle, all the high-rising buildings and glorious stadiums. Pretty damn cool. "Everybody find a volcano buddy, and don't wander off too far away from the mountain. Meet us back at the bus in thirty minutes."

Forkanna grabbed Living Lamb's arm to claim partnership, but Living Lamb shook her head and pulled her arm away reluctantly.

"Huh?" Forkanna asked, eyes brimming with confusion. "Who's your partner going to be, Lamb?"

"Me," Drum Major said, approaching the two. Her eyes flicked to Lamb. "We're going to practice marching band techniques and balance exercises from above the lava."

Lamb shrugged, and then galloped away with Drum Major. Forkanna felt betrayed. She scowled, kicking a loose string of hot lava that was floating along in the air. _I can't believe she would just leave me like that, _she thought.

"Need a partner?" a husky voice sounded behind her. Forkanna whipped around, surprised to see Scholar of Justice. He was holding a glass of champagne, and his green eyes dashed mysteriously as the lava's fog clouded around his figure. "I mean, I'm kind of new here, and nobody wants to be associated with the Southern Isles rich kid..." He pressed his mouth together and glanced downward, ashamed.

"No way! I'll definitely be your partner," Forkanna grinned. She reached forward and grabbed his gloved hand, making sure Living Lamb saw the encounter from the distance. "The name's Forkanna. But you can call me Fork."

He returned the sweet smile. Together, they ran up the mountain to see the lava up close.

* * *

"Kate?"

Kate-Kane turned around from her group of friends. She groaned. "Oh, god," she muttered. "Please, leave me alone."

"I have to tell you something," Celery Sticks said. She crossed her arms, shivering from the cold. Probably with the peanut butter.

"There's nothing I want to hear from you," Kate replied. But she seemed a bit curious.

"Is everything okay here, Kate?" Drake Parker and Josh Nicholas asked, looking at Kate with concern. She nodded, signalling for them to go away.

The rain began to pour down on Celery Sticks. She lifted her arms into the air, wet hair molding down her cheeks because it was raining. "Look, Kate, I'm not used to this whole commitment thing. You're right. I'm a player. I'm just like the others. I'm the biggest player in the whole fucking lesbian softball team, for christ's sake! But if you just come with me, I'll prove to you that I've changed. For_ you_."

"Okay," Kate-Kane said. She went along with Celery Sticks, up to the volcano ring where all the lava was. They didn't notice the intense orchestra music that was leading up to the big disaster.

* * *

The lava bubbled red and fiery, with all the forces of a great typhoon. Everybody was standing around the ring of its core, looking into the death trap.

"Okay, Lamb," Drum Major said. "I need you to hold this clarinet between your teeth and walk across the string above the lava."

"Is it safe?" Living Lamb asked. She bit her lip, looking at the super-thin string which was honestly just unrealistic and could not physically support a human being.

"Go ahead," Drum Major said. She took a close step into Lamb's personal space, placing an icy hand on her shoulder. She leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "I know you can do it."

The sweat that poured down Lamb's body temporarily drowned the lava, causing it all to go away, and she walked across the string without an issue. Everybody cheered, surprised at this amazing feat.

"Way to go," Forkanna called. But then, she shut her mouth, not wanting to cheer her _ex_ best friend.

"Forkanna, I've got to use the restroom," Scholar said, scratching a sideburn. He gestured behind himself. "I'll be back very soon."

"Don't get bumped into a fountain on your way there," she called. She sighed. She wanted so badly to see Elsa again; but she knew the beauty goddess queen was too good for her. A goal too far from reaching. Fucking plebs.

"Oh my god - are you Forkanna?" a sweet, smiling girl with thick-rimmed glasses and brown pigtails asked, approaching Fork. "My name's Raze Occam. I've heard a lot about you from my friends! Did you know that you're the gossip of the university right now?"

"Wait, what?" Fork blinked. "How come?"

"A video of you dancing with Elsa went viral on the internet," another girl entered the conversation. "I'm HmsElsanna, Elsa's assistant, by the way. Cute shirt."

"Oh fuck," Forkanna said. She buried her face in her hands. "I'll never escape this unrequited crush on Elsa."

* * *

There was a scream. It was a loud, piercing scream, and it washed over the volcano. Everybody stopped what they were doing. "Who just screamed?" Multiple questions, but not a single answer.

Because, as it turns out, there was a serious accident on that volcano. On that faithful night.

* * *

Mwahaha... a cliffhanger.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's fucking note:** Omg hey guys! I'm sorry for the super long wait for this next chapter (the reason updates were so frequent beforehand was because I was on Spring Break). Anyway, I've noticed somebody on Tumblr has been posing as me and sending anonymous hate messages to some of the authors featured on this fic. I have a tumblr myself, and I never go on anon, nor do I send hate mail. So that's not cool, people.

* * *

"What was that noise?" Forkanna wondered aloud as she ran up to the volcano's edge. She ended up standing on the ring of where all the lava was, and as she peered into the lava, she saw _it._

Living Lamb, her weird roommate, had diminished in the lava's fiery forces. Now, her body was bubbling inside the redness, bits of skin and blood floating up around the fading bones. Dead and gone. Consumed by the world's most destructive, relentless element.

Forkanna fell to her knees and screamed, "NOOOO!" as she shook her fists with rage. The rain poured down her face.

* * *

"Who killed Living Lamb?" was a question everybody began asking. Judging by the forensic evidence, it was obvious Lamb was pushed bluntly into the lava. Not by accident. Not by chance. Not by a black guy.

"But who would have the motivation to do such a thing?" Puck asked her group of friends, who were sitting all around here. She had gotten pregnant, and now, she sat on a hot lava pillar, holding her baby bump as it squiggled.

"Honestly, I'm just clueless," Forkanna said. She shook her head. "I'm so numb from my pain that I can't even cry."

"Kate-Kane's dead, too. And Celery Sticks," said a cop. He walked up to the group and took a sip of his coffee. "Dead, all of 'em. This sure was a homicide, if you ask me."

Lightning struck the distance:

_"I like that boom boom pow_  
_ Them chicken jackin' my style_  
_ They try to copy my swagger_  
_ I'm on that next shit now_  
_ I'm so three thousand and eight_  
_ You so two thousand and late_  
_ I got that boom boom boom_  
_ That future boom boom boom_  
_ Let me get it now"_

"Hey, Fork," Scholar of Justice, the guy who is basically Hans in this story, said brightly as he approached her group of friends from the distance. "Sorry I took so long in the bathroom. Man, what's going on here? Is this a crime scene now?

"I'm so happy you're okay," Fork said. She ran forward and wrapped her arms around his chest, hugging him tight.

"Hey, Scholar," Puck nodded. "Lots of murders have been going down. Crazy shit."

"Holy fuck," he blinked. "Who did it?"

HmsElsanna shrugged. "I guess we'll never know. C'mon, let's just go home."

* * *

Drum Major wiped the tears running down her face as the bus parked into the University's parking lot.

"She was so soft and kind. Poor Living Lamb. I'll never forget her."

Elsa and Adele Manzeen immediately ran up to the front of the bus. Elsa signaled for Drum Major to come out alone, and so Drum Major told all the students on the bus to wait in their seats. Drum Major went out the window and talked to Elsa and Adele Manzeen.

"What the hell is going on?" Elsa urged, grabbing Drum Major by the shoulders. "It's all over the news! Why weren't you watching the students?"

"I'm sorry," Drum Major said. She began to weep very loudly. "She's dead! They're dead! All of 'em!"

"Get yourself together," Adele Manzeen screamed. She slapped Drum Major vigorously on the face. "Come on bitch, it's just a girl."

"Drum Major," Elsa said. Her eyes were wide, and she was visibily shaking and upset. "Can I talk to you - alone?"

Elsa and Drum Major went aside in private. Once securely out of naked Adele's presence, Elsa asked:

"Is Forkanna okay?" So much sacredness was layered in her voice.

"Yup she didn't die."

"Thank the lord," Elsa seemed as if she might have fainted on the spot. "Oh my god, thank goodness." She shook her head and went away.

"Wait," Drum Major called. She pulled her marching band sash off her chest and threw it to the ground. "I'm sorry, but I can't keep teaching here knowing Living Lamb's desk will be empty. I quit."

* * *

Mrs. Frizzle laughed maniacally as she wiped the blood stains from the front of her bus.

"You did a good job today, Magic School Bus," she whispered soothingly. "I'm so happy you ran those annoying girls into the volcano. BLAAAAA!"

"Thanks for the job," a cruel, harsh male voice sounded from the shadows. He entered the light, revealing the face of Scholar of Justice. "Everything's going perfectly. Soon, the glass fork will be our's!"


	6. Chapter 6

Forkanna and everybody else got knives and killed themselves because of the tragedy that was so sad. They cried and then they went "bop" with the guns. **Boom. **Blood splattered and landed on the ceilings.

The sun in the west settled into the clouds as the day came to a close. The horses ran across the field, galloping gayly in their splendor.

A child with a red balloon let it go into the air. It lingered for a few brief moments, beautifully, suspended near the clouds; and then, like all things innocent, it exploded. Pop.

Because everything that rises, must converge.

Forkanna's memory lived on. In the spirits of Elsa, as Elsa weeped holding the glass fork over her grave. She never got to say she loved her.

"I'll never forget you, Forkanna."

**The End**

**PS: **Meet me on the Elsanna tinychat this friday at 7 P.M American eastern time for an author Q&A about this beautiful journey! (Requested in my inbox to do this).


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